deep think. simple say.

And I hate that you're still part of it because when that cold creeps back to my heart I feel alone even in a room of 35 My blinks get faster and looking up only helps until the splash hits my pillow And the mascara stains that won't come out of my sheets I don't want to play hide and seek as huddled mass beneath sheets or comforters They really don't comfort me and I feel like grey and biting breeze And shaking from nothing but memory and fears.... Don’t give me love like him The fear has sunk deeper than oceans go and it's still there But why should I be like shards of glass when I just want to be a diamond for you And you cut back the words you wish to say to spare my chill My throat blocks out any emotion I should be feeling and the stone wall greets me once again I don't greet it back  even that seems hard to do these days But sometimes I actually look happy when I practice my smile in the mirror And if I blur

Girl I’ve been thinking of us and all we could be The life to come and the memories we could see So I’ll take this night and whisper my plea To your father and redeemer, please hear me, my king; Should I marry this princess Should I make her my whole world Should I make our lives one and give this a whirl Should I bless her with eternity for the rest of her life Should I make her my lovely, my beloved, my wife Girl I’ve been prayin about us and all we can be Our life about to come and the memories that’ll be I must pray to ask the father of my bride soon to be Your daddy, an angel, please hear me this eve’ Can I marry your princess Can I have your whole world Can I make our lives one, and give it a whirl Can I bless her with eternity for the rest of her life Can I make your daughter my lovely, my beloved, my wife. Please, I beg to have your princess, to make her my que

I love you You see, those words can only go for awhile and I can only run so far I need to show you but i cant and I need your eyes to touch my lips Your hands to feel my heart Your voice nearly mocks me the Tear stains and red calendar Xs But then... that smile..oh that smile and The sparkle reaches out for your eyes And suddenly I'm glowing and I cant help But I help but to say it and when I say it What I really mean to say is; There are these knots. These knots in my chest, heavy and I cant breathe s-l-o-w-l-y I fill my lungs and the butterflies flood the airway and.. So I laugh, because it tickles. You see, what I truly mean is that… that they’re Fuzzy. And they have wings and antennae and FEELINGS And I try to say it before the Blood leaks onto my cheeks and the ivory fades away And then you say those three words back and... Butterflies!!

The world was small and so were we Spilled cheerios and jam faces I stood for my brother and he told me, Come walk to me Related to him, laughing with him, life with him The world grew into me and I grew into the world Skinned knees but a happy face I held my daddy’s strong hand and he told me, Come walk near me Protected by him, loved by him, only with him. High school was my world and I felt so big. Lustful drama and masked faces I fell for him and he didn’t help me stand, he said Come walk behind me Hidden after him, scared of him, life with him. The world became mean and I felt so small Broken heart and tear streaked face I knelt to pray and He said Come walk with me Shining through Him, renewed in Him, Life through Him. My world was bright, and I was finally just fine Mended heart, I found the missing half And he knelt

i feel the wall crashing down again. he had been away for so long. my heart beats harder and his gate shuts off in my throat i can feel his waters lapping at the back of my eyes. but he is strong. we are strong. he has to be, the choice is simple and secret. those secrets. they scrape, scarring the inside of the wall. they never escape. they CAN'T escape. the wall protects my heart at it's weakest. when all else crumbles down, he holds strong for me. he really is the only one i've learned to trust. we were best friends for awhile. and he's come back. I never doubted he'd show up soon, with all the commotion. unbreakable. unreachable. unwarmable. he chills my heart and puts hot irons down my throat. but i love him. he takes me away. he lets me hurt in private. the water on my face dries before anyone can see. and this time, i think he may be staying for awhile.

and these last strides, You’re in white while your prince stands waiting. small hand slips too soon from my own.  into another's grasp. Music plays into the night For the moment, you’re in my arms again. Arms that once rocked you to sleep. not worried about if time passed by. Because for the moment, I held tomorrow in my arms. But this night, I hold someone else's tomorrow. yet, when I looked down at you laying on my chest, it's easy to say that no boy in the world could love you more than I love you. You’ve found your Prince Charming but I’ll always be your king. My princess is married, And now you’re HIS queen. But remember, I loved you first.

Life was living in hell, the leash suffocates. I wondered if you’d ever change your ways. You can’t fool me anymore after these months and something was never quite right.   So I just put our pictures away...   You’re not my anything, so how could you be my everything.   And it shouldn’t be this way. Love doesn’t know distance, and that’s when I knew. I can’t sit here and cry anymore today, not even on the inside. You can’t wonder where I’ve been or who I am. I don't fit into your mold and I’m always going to be the same. You won’t ever see tears I cry, the ones ; because of you. Because these days, the ring on my right hand is too tight and it never really faced the right way. And I found myself counting down to relief instead of sadness. And it shouldn’t be this way. It’s the same ol’ same, and honestly; I don’t care how you’ve been. You remind me of those greyer days. Tears. Made of paper and glass,

When it hit. It ached. Each day was filled with friends and life and love and school and… It was Us against the world, bro. Cruising the boulevard and chased by cops. We were scared of lost time, but never spent more. Always knew the summer would come. 10 months of life for 2 months of living. We knew where to escape together. Summers were my time. Your time. Ours. 19 years it went. Partners, understated best friend. Protector of my heart. Keeper of my world. Childhood secrets, sworn. But, those summers. Salt and mud and dirt and fresh air. Gravel under tires and our country in the air. The hymn kept rhythm with our hammers. We sang. And we laughed. And we cried. Free.  Ready to be grown up, but living like children. Late nights, early mornings. Afternoon showers, lunch breaks and Dorito fingers. Hank strumming in the background. His giggle and eyes dance along with his jokes. Days were never grey with that smile. One ray

Frequently best friends, often enemies and occasionally partners in crime  Life together, love together, growing together, everything together.  Always occupied but never apart. Time taken advantage. He's left her a child, with room to grow.  She will learn to live, and love and grow and hurt and cry without him. No more sitting across the dinner table from him.  Those fences they built together, will need to be rebuild alone. Days without his laughter, and days without dimples.   So many days, so many hours, so many minutes and life.   It will go on, without him. He will walk off his plane to embrace a woman, not a girl.  Strong, and confident, well on her way.  They won't even know each other.  Him, older and matured. Her matured as well,  but wearing the same blue eyes.  He smiles... the dimple comes back.  Surely best friends, hardly enemies, but always partners in crime. 

"He's honored to be called to serve as a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and because I stand behind my Elder with the same force that he's always stood behind me, because at this time working in the field is better than working on courting, because RM will always be stronger than BF, because his call is more important than me calling him, because missionary work starts now, because this quest isn't done for a full two years; so our quest may begin and never end, because they need him more than I do, because for now he'll only leave me to ensure that others will be together for eternity, because when my missionary returns...the honor will surely be mine."