Butterflies

I love you
You see, those words can only go for awhile

and I can only run so far

I need to show you
but i cant and

I need your eyes to touch my lips

Your hands to feel my heart

Your voice nearly mocks me

the Tear stains and red calendar Xs

But then...
that smile..oh that smile and

The sparkle reaches out for your eyes

And suddenly I'm glowing and I cant help

But I help but to say it and when I say it

What I really mean to say is;

There are these knots.

These knots in my chest, heavy and I cant breathe s-l-o-w-l-y

I fill my lungs and the butterflies flood

the airway and..

So I laugh, because it tickles.

You see, what I truly mean is that… that they’re

Fuzzy. And they have wings and antennae and

FEELINGS

And I try to say it before the

Blood leaks onto my cheeks and the ivory fades away

And then you say those three words back and...

Butterflies!!

Jammed. In that place they’d just been and…

 flutter.

The blood, yes the blood has stained my cheeks,

And when I REALLY mean from all this banter is…

And those bugs, they feel so heavy and

my chest feels too light.

Too small for all that clutter.

My heart is claustrophobic

and wants oxygen way too soon.

And all they say is that I’m falling, falling so hard

But I feel like im…

Flying!

and those are clouds and stars and and…more…

Fluttering.

But honestly, im scared of heights

So there, ill just jump.

Ill jump closer…

Close enough to see that green flake you don’t see

And the stubbled chin. …

And I breathe this time

and I breathe YOU in.

and what I mean is…

I cant just look, I finally need to see.

See him.

Understand why even the sunglasses hurt my eyes

When he stands there and shines…

My CHEST might collapse

And my fingers feel cold

And there’s an earthquake surrounding my body and it's getting old

…Three words…

they pass through my trembling lips,

I see them float off yours.

And when I say those letters, harmonizing letters

Im talking about those butterflies.

When I say those three words;

I love you.

Just remember….. all I really mean is…

butterflies.