The Chill

And I hate that you're still part of it
because when that cold creeps back to my heart

I feel alone even in a room of 35

My blinks get faster and looking up only helps until the splash hits my pillow
And the mascara stains that won't come out of my sheets
I don't want to play hide and seek as huddled mass beneath sheets or comforters

They really don't comfort me
and I feel like grey and biting breeze
And shaking from nothing but memory and fears....

Don’t give me love like him
The fear has sunk deeper than oceans go and it's still there
But why should I be like shards of glass when I just want to be a diamond for you
And you cut back the words you wish to say to spare my chill
My throat blocks out any emotion I should be feeling and the stone wall greets me once again
I don't greet it back

 even that seems hard to do these days
But sometimes I actually look happy when I practice my smile in the mirror
And if I blur my focus, the bags under my eyes don't seem so dark

I need a get away. A one way flight to Paris

And I don’t want to be the one to forget what it feels like to be 19 when I turn 20

Lately I’ve been waking up half full

The wrinkle in my shirt matches wrinkles in my soul

It’s been awhile and I still feel the same, I need to just let go

I’ve found my corner and tonight I called you
and I've been feeling everything from hate to love from love to lust from lust to truth

My tears drown in my blood

The stains taste like salt

but for now, ill finally just let go