deep think. simple say.

Father knows Best Born to a virgin, they said it couldn’t be so. For the Son of God, to be lying there so low. Not much of a childhood, I grew to know the plan. I needed to be faithful for the salvation of every man. I’m more than just a guy, a face in the crowd The haters will spit, but the believers will bow I knew it wouldn’t be peaceful but I was meant to die It might be hard, but for my Father, I’ll try. I’m meant to ride with clouds beneath my knees, And Ill suffer for your sin, where no one else will see. I’ll be alone for a while, so someday we’ll be together I beg for release, but Father said it’s for the better They’ll take me then and upon my head some thorns They’ll be the scared and frightened ones when the sky is filled with horns. I fade in the pain, hanging high above Take away my mother, and make sure she knows my love They’re pleased with the murder, gone is the Son Forgive them my Father; they know not what they’

I can’t help but fly I’m more than just a girl looking for love More than just a face in the crowd, a number on the team But sometimes, it’s hard to be me Inside of me, I know who I am Others want to define me but I let then know who I am I stand where I stand I kneel where I kneel I’m someone’s daughter, niece, friend Wrapped around my dad’s finger My biggest fan is mom Inside of me, I wish I could fall on all fours I wish my face could be wet with tears Let me stumble just once Heroes have the right to bleed And even stars burn to the earth People watch for me to fall; they make wishes on me. Men are meant to rise Watch me ride with a cloud beneath my feet When I get there, I’ll go higher still Inside of me, I’m greater with the hurt Pain; a common sense Correlated with victory, there is no win without a loss They’re not out to find my better part But the part they want to find I’ll stand holding hands with the Sun I shine regardless of the rain It’s not easy, I’m more,

You can ask if I'm ok, but I won’t answer. But I know you care in the good way. Also, you'll be able to tell because I'm hooked to a heart monitor. If it beats 68 four times then 76 once, well, then you're going to know. I can get a bless if I need it and I can get a bless even if I don’t. Write the letters and feel the pain but let the words fill it and heal it. Don’t let others feel the same sadness. Hide and don’t let them find you. Childhood game. So it’s ok. Sometimes I feel my face and the ocean water must have spit on me. Salt stays dried on my cheeks, and stings my eyes. The earth rids the reality of it. 10 seconds on TV and 100 words in news print. Shocks roll in and out, no expectation. No prep.   I put my head in the cold, dark ocean; no one can hear the scream. Watched the sun go down to shed tears in the dark. I feel like it can pass now. This time I’ll let it travel through instead of washing over my crippled mass. Rolling me, scraping me. I bled.      

where i come from.... blue skies white fluffy clouds fresh air cool, but warm....clean breeze with the sun greenest grasses sound of meadowlarks sprinklers in the distance dad smells like mowed lawn clean hearing fish surface in the pond fishing fourwheeling through the ice cold stream getting up before the day to run dirt roads thin air watching the sunrise crisp mornings with dew working next to nature quaking aspens fluttering picnics l.a.u.g.h.i.n.g. country music tan, heat ice cold water streams gushing water afternoon rain showers family dinner on the back porch deep blue silhouetted mountains laying in the hammock soft bawling of calves the mew of an elk herd campfire smell bonfire stories and songs pitch black skies a million stars coats and holding hands smores ping pong tournaments in the barn heaven going to bed with the sound of paradise and when i wake up...? i do it all again. this is my home.

sleep. zzzzzz.............. i dont know about you but i dont have a bubble above my head when i sleep with a bunch of z's filling it up. when im trying to fall asleep and things are crazy in my head, magical sheep with numbers painted on them dont appear. and the sandman? honestly... im still trying to figure that one out but i have a baseball bat under my bed just in case. sand doesnt feel good in your eyes. but i still love sleep. its my paradise. i can do things i cant do in reality. reality. i dont fly. i cant breathe underwater. i cant speak spanish. i dont know how to tie a slip knot. my toothpaste always seems to be out. my spreadable butter is unspreadable. my hair doesnt look like the girl in the magazine. my shower lies to me and tells me i can sing. my clothes change color when i get to school and makes them not match. 2 + 2 isnt 5 anymore. its 6? thats how well math goes. the stop lights go from green to red. forget yellow. yellow isnt a creative color anymore i guess

failure turns to revenge. disappointment to anger. my tears to loathing. couRAGE isn't happiness. couRAGE isn't glory. couRAGE is sometimes ugly. "show me a man who has never failed....and i'll show you a man who has never tried" we need to fall. scrape my knee. make me bleed. ill be better than you. stronger than you. faster than you. if you make me fall nine times... you're only making me get up ten.

Childhood. We played pirate ship in his tree house, practically lived at each others homes, friendship being planted since birth. A lazy smile plays on his lips, a smirk that duplicates his smart aleck nature, the title of trouble maker is all over his face. His eyes get squinted, almost disappearing when he laughs at our jokes. His nonchalant saunter is an unmistakably trade mark, slowly taking in every moment of his day. Speaking in an octave lower than what would sound natural. He has a constant serious tone, especially when telling yet another humorous prank he has pulled, making it appear mature. While in his teasing behavior and staged cool, his love never fails to touch his eyes. His sincerity and intense care, I’ve never seen in any other person. Summer came and my mom’s sickness was at its worst. My deepest horror had come true, my mother was helpless. Fragile. Constant pain in her eyes.   The weight of the world was in my hands. During her treatment, I stayed with him. He w

Im afraid. I'm afraid of a lot. But just enough. I'm afraid of failure but I'm afraid to never try. I'm afraid of the dark but I embrace the night. I'm afraid of their laughter but i laugh inside. I'm afraid of love but I'm afraid I won't have yours. I'm afraid of lost time but I hurry to wait. I'm afraid of losing my family but I'm never home on the weekends. I'm afraid of my imagination yet here I am still writing. I'm afraid of elevators but won't take the stairs. I'm afraid of snakes but....yeah, I'm just afraid of snakes. I'm afraid of being average but I'm so far from perfect. I'm afraid of drowning but I take showers everyday. I'm afraid of the thorns but I still smell the roses. I'm terrified of life but here I am still living.

You picked me up around 7 or 8, and we talked and laughed and drove around all night. Took me to the hills for a film play under the stars. You didnt watch, neither did i. Lost in thoughts and what ifs. You took the chance and held my hand. Golden, excited eyes. All i see. Wanted to freeze that moment, so i could stop and stare. I wasnt sure what it would be but all i could see was the dark blue sky, the stars shine bright and your smiling eyes beneath your lids. I held my breath, tasted your lips and felt your skin. Just wanted to be your everything. We could be anything. We lived our lives together then. And i was such a fool for you. You were by my side, with your hand in mine. You had the heart to my key. Those nights, whispers. i smiled because the words sounded so cute and right. You were the guy that held my world still when my life got shook. Didnt care what i wore, no matter what, i still found your love. All i knew, i was safe when you were around. Held me in your arms,

"You never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have..."

Kindergarten? love is giving her your chocolate milk. love is chasing him around at reccess. love is infecting him with cooties. love is a smile. Middle School? love is no man's land, unknown. love is a flower bud. love is telling everyone else you like him, but not telling him. love is naive. High School? love is a rollercoaster. love is lost. love is found. love is texting everyday...all day. love is control of your weekend hours. love is loss of sleep from talking all night. love is holding hands. love is a wink from across the room. love is lust. Marriage? love is compromise. love is sacrifice. love is your other half. love is making him his favorite meal... everynight. love is doing the dishes for her. love is true. love is deep. love is combining two perfectly fine lives into one amazing life. love is selfless. love is work, but love is worth it. love is anxiousness. love is wanting them to be happy, even without you. love is wanting their success. love is anything

The stone wall broke down this week. It had a heart, passionate and soft. Surrounding it was the stone, the army allowed no one to touch it's tender heart. That stone was called pride, assumed strength, image. August: a small crack was formed, breaking near the heart; but it was still protected. The applied caulking held tight near the surface, but remained soft near the center. January came and a rain drenched the wall, the trial chipped the hardened surface from it's weakening crack. The soft caulking was revealed, very near the wall's sterile heart. One simple hug washed it away; the heart began to shiver. One comforting hand; the heart shook. The stone around it crumbling down.  The dynamite was called care. The hammers were called love. Pounding with every compassionate thought, the heart was exposed. It was beating now, weakening the walls itself. It felt naked, no longer hidden. Vulnerable and embarrassed. Weak and abnormal at first, but grew stronger each day

Some say I'm popular, others say I'm not. Athletic or just an athlete? Musician or just a singer of my favorite songs? Screaming rather than melody. Opinions don't effect me. If you get to know me, maybe I'll open up. But only enough to guarantee no disappointments. People think they "know" me, but they only know ABOUT me. What I do, what I've done, but not what I've been through. Not many ever will. When there is weakness, no one will read it on my face. But my life is perfect. Why wouldn't it be? I'm still breathing, sometimes with a little difficulty, but still breathing nonetheless. Reality is, I'm a lucky one. Secure with who I am and not changing for anyone. I'm stubborn as hell, immovable. I get what I want with work and not afraid of obstacles, in fact.... I embrace them. Simply said? I'm ME.